This poor kid is in last place during a dirt bike race. He tries to make a move around a corner but ends up hitting the gas way too hard and flying far into the stands.
Category: Cars & Vehicles
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Two Hot Chicks Oil Wrestling
Thanks to Showtime for sending this clip in and an important note to all other media companies. If you create great clips with smokin hot chicks wrestling in oil we are more than happy to promote them for free.
Category: Comedy
Category: Comedy
Sofa King We Todd Did
As obvious of a prank this might be I thought it was very funny. Gurantee we see the same prank now pulled at least a dozen times over the next couple days.
Category: Comedy
Category: Comedy
Unconventional Dance Moves
This is actually pretty entertaining to watch. A couple kids demonstrate a bunch of unconventional dance moves.
Category: Comedy
Category: Comedy
Drunk Chair Pull Knockout
Weve all pulled the prank where you pull the chair out from under your friend who isnt looking. This video shows why you might not want to do it to a guy whose been drinking for 20 hours straight at a casino.
Category: Comedy
Category: Comedy
The Real iPhone Flight Delay Ad
What would really happen if a pilot used his iPhone to fix a flight delay?
Category: Comedy
Category: Comedy
Short Fight Fat Kid Knockout
Fat kid fights Asian kid and gets knocked out. Bigger they are the harder they fall.
Category: Entertainment
Category: Entertainment
Japanese Girl With Big Boobs at the Gym
A really sexy Japanese girl with big natural boobs works out at the gym. If this girl went to my gym I wouldnt get anything done
Category: Entertainment
Category: Entertainment
Silence is wut kills her..
In the silent corners of the mortuary,
They whisper quietly of a girl in a box,
Why she is in there never escapes their
lips.
Bu t everyone seems to know.
Her life ended for reasons beyond just
herself.
Some say it was for attention, some say
it was because of her family..
As I walk in the room, I go unnoticed...
Maki ng my way to the other end of the
cold and dimly light room..
I cannot look at her remains for they
will only bring forth unwanted feelings
Her sister is crying, wetting her
brothers shoulders.
He holds her in a state of shock, his
eyes fixed on her casket...
Nobody could quite understand the
reasons why...
No one really knew...
No one seemed to care enough, to ask
why she never spoke
No one asked why she cried herself to
sleep.
They whisper quietly of a girl in a box,
Why she is in there never escapes their
lips.
Bu t everyone seems to know.
Her life ended for reasons beyond just
herself.
Some say it was for attention, some say
it was because of her family..
As I walk in the room, I go unnoticed...
Maki ng my way to the other end of the
cold and dimly light room..
I cannot look at her remains for they
will only bring forth unwanted feelings
Her sister is crying, wetting her
brothers shoulders.
He holds her in a state of shock, his
eyes fixed on her casket...
Nobody could quite understand the
reasons why...
No one really knew...
No one seemed to care enough, to ask
why she never spoke
No one asked why she cried herself to
sleep.
ROBOTIC THRUST
ROBOTIC THRUST
Drive it deep
Heavy breathing
Holding back never more
Pull out Push in
Choke hold and no more teasing
From your back to your knees
Serve it up I aim to please
Head back Eyes wide
I will turn your world upside down
Taste sweet
Sweet like candy
You keep me begging for more
Push in Pull out
Nail your ass to the floor
Taste the lust Taste the sin
Spread wide I shove it in
Head back Eyes wide
I will turn your world upside down
Drive it deep
Heavy breathing
Drive it deep
Heavy breathing
Holding back never more
Pull out Push in
Choke hold and no more teasing
From your back to your knees
Serve it up I aim to please
Head back Eyes wide
I will turn your world upside down
Taste sweet
Sweet like candy
You keep me begging for more
Push in Pull out
Nail your ass to the floor
Taste the lust Taste the sin
Spread wide I shove it in
Head back Eyes wide
I will turn your world upside down
Drive it deep
Heavy breathing
Read The Testimony
Have you ever spoken and wished that
you could immediately take the words
back...or that you could crawl into a
hole? Here are the Testimonials of a
few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair
salon with my husband and three kids in
tow and asked loudly, "How much do you
charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and
never went back. My husband didn't say
a word...he knew better.
SECON D TESTIMONY: I was at the golf
store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy with the women's
type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached
by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he
could help me. Without thinking, I
looked at him and said, "I think I like
playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were
at the mall and passed by a store that
sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we
were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we
needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister
started to laugh hysterically, The boy
grinned, and I turned beet-red and
walked away. To this day, my Sister has
never let me forget.
FOURT H TESTIMONY: While in line at the
bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to release some pent-up energy and ran
amok. I was finally able to grab hold
of her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start
behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me
in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don' t let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter
in tow. The last thing I heard when the
door closed behind me, were screams of
laughter.
< BR>FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked
your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of
problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped
at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with
a full dining room. While enjoying my
taco, I smelled something funny, so of
course I checked my seven-month-old
d aughter, and she was clean.Then I
realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he
needed to go, and he said "No". I kept
thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had
an accident, and I don't have any
clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just
KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny,
did you have an accident?" This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent
over and spread his cheeks and
yelled, "SEE MOM,IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death
on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An
old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd
ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the
state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news
anchor who will, in the future, likely
think before she speaks. What happens
when you predict snow but don't get
any....a true story... We had a female
news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised
me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did
too they were laughing so hard!
you could immediately take the words
back...or that you could crawl into a
hole? Here are the Testimonials of a
few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair
salon with my husband and three kids in
tow and asked loudly, "How much do you
charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and
never went back. My husband didn't say
a word...he knew better.
SECON D TESTIMONY: I was at the golf
store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy with the women's
type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached
by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he
could help me. Without thinking, I
looked at him and said, "I think I like
playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were
at the mall and passed by a store that
sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we
were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we
needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister
started to laugh hysterically, The boy
grinned, and I turned beet-red and
walked away. To this day, my Sister has
never let me forget.
FOURT H TESTIMONY: While in line at the
bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to release some pent-up energy and ran
amok. I was finally able to grab hold
of her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start
behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me
in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don' t let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter
in tow. The last thing I heard when the
door closed behind me, were screams of
laughter.
< BR>FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked
your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of
problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped
at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with
a full dining room. While enjoying my
taco, I smelled something funny, so of
course I checked my seven-month-old
d aughter, and she was clean.Then I
realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he
needed to go, and he said "No". I kept
thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had
an accident, and I don't have any
clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just
KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny,
did you have an accident?" This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent
over and spread his cheeks and
yelled, "SEE MOM,IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death
on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An
old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd
ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the
state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news
anchor who will, in the future, likely
think before she speaks. What happens
when you predict snow but don't get
any....a true story... We had a female
news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised
me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did
too they were laughing so hard!
THE WEDDING AT NUMER 18, CLEGG STREET
'Twas a fine foggy day in Septober
The rain it were bucketing down
So I picked up some buckets - and I
flogged 'em outright
To the council for half a crown.
Throug h the drizzle a form come walking
Clad in an old flannel vest
He wore nowt on his feet but bunnions
And a cauliflower pinned to his chest.
"What a man has to do for a living."
He said as he passed slowly by
And I recognized him, it was Acroyd
I could tell by his roving black eye.
'Cos it had roved from his head to his
kneecaps
A nd was stuck there swivelling round;
When lasses walked past it looked up,
aghast
And at other times looked at the ground.
"Ay up lad," I said, "Eh, how are ya?"
He smiled, his teeth blackened and broke
He said, "I'm marrying a lass in the
morning."
I said, "Its better than marrying a
bloke."
So we went to the registry office next
day
On back of bus - 59
The bride was too wide to get up and
ride
So she run like bugg'ry behind.
At Oldham the hill was against us
It was far too steep for the bus
So I held the brides aspidistras
And made it easier for her to push.
To Cheers and Hurrahs she shoved us
Right to the top of the hill
But her eyelashes ran down her face
with sweat
So she'd a tash and mutton chops too.
After the wedding was over
We went to the Clogger's Arms
Where they'd tripe and cow heel and
parkin
Bla ck peas and black puddin' on barms.
The bride cut the cake with her false
teeth
'C os someone'd buggered off with the
knife
But she didn't take care and they
slipped, and flew through the air
Causing buggerations, trouble and
strife.
'Cos they landed on grooms fathers bald
patch
And took a big chunk off his head
So he smashed her in gob with his
hearing aid
And left her in't jelly half dead.
At that the brides mother errupted
Without even excusing herself
And she poked the old fella, with a
silver salt cellar
Which wasn't too good for his health.
Now the nephews and nieces chucked
parkin
And splurted black peas all over t'room
An the in-laws and the out-laws, they
battled like buggery
And the brides mother throttled the
groom.
She were eight foot seven and six foot
wide
And arms on her just like a bloke.
She'd teeth like the holy commandments
Ten of em - every one broke.
I am at that age where I know all I
need to know, but can't always remember
it.
The rain it were bucketing down
So I picked up some buckets - and I
flogged 'em outright
To the council for half a crown.
Throug h the drizzle a form come walking
Clad in an old flannel vest
He wore nowt on his feet but bunnions
And a cauliflower pinned to his chest.
"What a man has to do for a living."
He said as he passed slowly by
And I recognized him, it was Acroyd
I could tell by his roving black eye.
'Cos it had roved from his head to his
kneecaps
A nd was stuck there swivelling round;
When lasses walked past it looked up,
aghast
And at other times looked at the ground.
"Ay up lad," I said, "Eh, how are ya?"
He smiled, his teeth blackened and broke
He said, "I'm marrying a lass in the
morning."
I said, "Its better than marrying a
bloke."
So we went to the registry office next
day
On back of bus - 59
The bride was too wide to get up and
ride
So she run like bugg'ry behind.
At Oldham the hill was against us
It was far too steep for the bus
So I held the brides aspidistras
And made it easier for her to push.
To Cheers and Hurrahs she shoved us
Right to the top of the hill
But her eyelashes ran down her face
with sweat
So she'd a tash and mutton chops too.
After the wedding was over
We went to the Clogger's Arms
Where they'd tripe and cow heel and
parkin
Bla ck peas and black puddin' on barms.
The bride cut the cake with her false
teeth
'C os someone'd buggered off with the
knife
But she didn't take care and they
slipped, and flew through the air
Causing buggerations, trouble and
strife.
'Cos they landed on grooms fathers bald
patch
And took a big chunk off his head
So he smashed her in gob with his
hearing aid
And left her in't jelly half dead.
At that the brides mother errupted
Without even excusing herself
And she poked the old fella, with a
silver salt cellar
Which wasn't too good for his health.
Now the nephews and nieces chucked
parkin
And splurted black peas all over t'room
An the in-laws and the out-laws, they
battled like buggery
And the brides mother throttled the
groom.
She were eight foot seven and six foot
wide
And arms on her just like a bloke.
She'd teeth like the holy commandments
Ten of em - every one broke.
I am at that age where I know all I
need to know, but can't always remember
it.
Clever Kid
An old man in Mississippi is sitting on
his front porch watching the sun rise.
He sees the neighbor's kid walk by
carrying something big under his
arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got
there?" "Roll of chicken wire."
"What you gonna do with that?"
"Gonna catch some chickens."
"Y ou damn fool! You can't catch
chickens with chicken wire!" The boy
just laughs and keeps walking. That
evening at sunset, the boy comes
walking by, dragging behind him the
chicken wire with about 30 chickens
caught in it.
The next morning, the old man is out
watching the sun rise and he sees the
boy walk by carrying something in his
hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"Roll of duct tape."
"What you gonna do with that?"
"Gonna catch me some ducks."
"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks
with duct tape!"
The boy just laughs and keeps
walking.Tha t night around sunset the
boy walks by, trailing behind him the
unrolled roll of duct tape with about
35 ducks caught in it.
The next morning, the old man sees the
boy walking by carrying what looks like
a long reed with something fuzzy on the
end. ''Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"It's a pussy willow."
"Wai t up...I'll get my hat."
his front porch watching the sun rise.
He sees the neighbor's kid walk by
carrying something big under his
arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got
there?" "Roll of chicken wire."
"What you gonna do with that?"
"Gonna catch some chickens."
"Y ou damn fool! You can't catch
chickens with chicken wire!" The boy
just laughs and keeps walking. That
evening at sunset, the boy comes
walking by, dragging behind him the
chicken wire with about 30 chickens
caught in it.
The next morning, the old man is out
watching the sun rise and he sees the
boy walk by carrying something in his
hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"Roll of duct tape."
"What you gonna do with that?"
"Gonna catch me some ducks."
"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks
with duct tape!"
The boy just laughs and keeps
walking.Tha t night around sunset the
boy walks by, trailing behind him the
unrolled roll of duct tape with about
35 ducks caught in it.
The next morning, the old man sees the
boy walking by carrying what looks like
a long reed with something fuzzy on the
end. ''Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"It's a pussy willow."
"Wai t up...I'll get my hat."
Viagra Coffee
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
50/50 Kick Flip
From the thriller highs of snowboarding to the craziest wipeouts of surfing, Transworld brings you the best extreme sports highlights. This video sends up:
Category: Sports
Category: Sports
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